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To order a Duffy book, click on one of the covers to the left.

I have to do fasting blood work for a physical.

That means no coffee this morning.

What kind of God-forsaken idea is this? I’ve already pulled a muscle in my back and got cracked dog skull to human orbital reaching for a sneaker.

Every other key I hit is wrong and when I look at my manuscript it would make more sense if it was written in Korean. (I just spent 12 minutes trying to decide the best metaphor…Sanskrit, Japanese or Korean. In the end I wasn’t confident of my “Sanskrit” spelling.)

Where was I?

That’s the problem, I wasn’t anywhere.

Did I mention I’m missing my Shreaded Wheat? By the way, that’s the best the marketing department good do on that product name?

I have a combination sinus/basset hound head butt headache. I’m pissy, sleepy and every day around this time I go to the bathroom and , well, I haven’t.

Can’t some overachieving Ivy-league asshole make it okay to drink coffee when you have blood work? C’mon, someone came up with the Sham Wow, the Chia Pet and the Cap Snaffler.

Anyways, today’s tip: Don’t skip coffee,