I had planned on joining the hipsters with my new popup trailer but I have a freelance article assignment due, my day job , the college courses I teach at night and the book I’m working on. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not right behind them in being pissed at the people who keep making my mutual funds devalue faster than that AMC Pacer I drive.
But why stop with Wall Street. There are other institutions that piss me off–why can’t we get to occupying some of these other despots?
OCCUPY THE DMV– Why do we have to accept the long lines and endless red tape? Let’s sleep there–its heated too.
OCCUPY NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL– C’mon a fumble on the one yard line again! Let’s sleep in the stadium parking lot until the players stop persecuting us with their poor grip.
OCCUPY GETTING OLDER–Hey, I’m sick of waking up and feeling like someone kicked me down the state Capitol steps. Can’t we stand up to getting older? Not sure where will camp but they better have Flomax.
OCCUPY THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL– Please make it stop! We can sleep outside with signs that we’re sorry about MJ but this trial lacks the drama of say, a good OJ-type case.
OCCUPY THE NBA LOCKOUT–Barely literate over-tattooed guys with hyperactive thyroid conditions who want more than their 8 figure per year salaries…really? Let’s get the tents.
OCCUPY JUSTIN BEIBER– Enough of the moppish hair, the big teeth and all the news reports about him really being talented and intelligent.
OCCUPY AIRPORTS– You stand in line like an Omaha Steak resource while people you don’t know rifle through your underwear and embarrassing medications only to be directed to some guy who got his GED a half an hour ago who insists on checking your nutbag for concealed WMDs. The problem is I’ve slept in airports and I don’t want to do it again.