I don’t vote.

I don’t like presidential politics and I think candidates are mostly goofy–like the guys in high school who tried too hard to maneuver and manipulate everything possible to get ahead.

It looks to me that pols never do anything that isn’t contrived. They also always look like rich stuffy white guys even when they’re rich stuffy black guys.

Here’s some random observations:

1. Why are there so many weird names? I don’t know anyone named Mitt, Newt or Barack, do you?

Mitthew?

2. I don’t like Obama’s NBA-starting-5-intro trot. Sure, he can hit an uncontested 15-footer but so can I and I don’t trot to the podium like I’m Dwayne Wade.

3. How about the things they do that they think may them look real. You meet with unions–you take off the suit jacket and roll up your $150 shirt sleeves…you do an inner city speech and suddenly you’re a Baptist minister…you go to a ball game and you make sure there’s a shot of you eating peanuts…

3. What’s the guy’s name with the tan who just does shit to make the president look bad? First of all the tan, really? That means he goes tanning…I’m guessing his dy is pretty busy and he finds time to tan? He’s not an Albany state coed freshman from Long Island.

4. Just a side note–Sarah Palin is hot. Boots, leather and the glasses–hot. That’s it, I said it.

5. What does the Vice president do? I mean, every day what does he do? A foreign dignitary doesn’t die every day. And the Pat Riley hair–is that working?

6. The First Lady at Target caught on a cell phone camera–really? Some goober at Target was able to hold up a camera and focus it a few feet from Michelle and his arm is still in joint?