“I’ve come to the conclusion that professional basketball is a vapid existence filled with over-active thyroid cases who care more about their next tattoo than they do their fellow man. Me, I care about fishes, clams and pelicans and that kind of shit. Damn it, I’m going to do something selfless,” The 6′ 9″ all star who likes to throw chalk up in the air like a Mayan God, said.
At 12:01 James becomes a free agent, a fact that has been stated in print and electronic media every three seconds for the last 60 days. James’s last minute humantarian decision came without warning.
“I thought about volunteerin’ my services in that whole Russian spy thing but, the Russians, they aren’t even, like, our enemies any more, right? Then I thought about going to South Padre island to help but I couldn’t get a flight.” James said.