Yesterday I asked for some help on my new novel.

There’s a strip club in it and I was looking for an interesting name for it. I posted a question on Facebook.

What happened after that was clearly astounding.

Hoardes of people, who presumably don’t have enough to do at their day jobs, responded.

Frankly, the suggestions were disturbing.

As a service to those who made suggestions I will conduct a psychoanalysis on some of the suggestions. Hopefully, we can all learn something.

Jay K

Pole Position

Clearly Jay is both a fan of watching women dance and Nascar. What can we deduce from that? Safe to say he did not hit triple figures on the SAT exam.

Tina W

One Stop Plastic Shop

I believe as a child Tina was breast fed from falsies and will never develop as a mature adult.

Diane M

Peel and Play

I am not sure if this is a reference to shrimp, bananas or disrobing. It doesn’t matter, it’s odd. So is Diane and you should stay away from her.

Vinnie B


Vinnie is clearly on a different spiritual plane than the rest of us. Personally, I don’t want to board that plane and fly towards Nirvana with Mr. B to a place of enlightenment where women dance without clothes.

Geo A

Franks and Beans

Geo, it’s time for help. I know your Ballpark franks plump when you cook them but you’re spending far too much time in the kitchen.

Pasquale P

Mammary Lane

Okay, ‘Squale we all know what Freudian stage you’re stuck at. It’s not a good one for a man over the age of 4.

Robert W


Bob, I know you spend a lot of time in Hollywood and you probably have gone numb to the idea of blond women in lucite heels, but did you read the question? I know you’re old but is that what happens?

Michael L

Honey, I Was At My Art Class

Mrs. L you’ve got issues to deal with. Those stick figures Mikey’s been taping to the refrrigerator indicate that those impressionist classes he’s taking are leaving the wrong impression on him.

Davida D.

Jiffy Lube

Davida meet Jay. Jay likes NASCAR. You two can hang out. You can talk about cars going fast and maybe play with Matchboxes. Just stay out of society.

Vicky A

Ben Dovers

I’m assuming IP Daly and Who Flung Do were already taken? Vicky you’re a grown woman and somewhere along the way something went wrong with your development. Really, really wrong.

And the most disturbing response award goes to:

Bill D.

Please Don’t Take Off Your Pants and Jack It

Right this way Mr. D. Please take your meds and arts and crafts will be starting soon. Part of being a good shrink is knowing when there is no hope. For Bill D there’s less than no hope