Yesterday I had a real bout with anxiety.
Might be upcoming travel, might be about the dogs getting older and therefore slower and sorer, might be the extra cup of coffee.
I lectured my addiction class last night about the concept of enabling. I asked the class if they could think of any payoff an enabler would get by enabling the addict in their life.
Someone said “They get to be a victim or a hero.”
What’s my payoff for being a worry wort?
I can be a victim and feel sorry for myself.
I can pretend I’m a sensitive soul.
I can enjoy the drama.
I can even pretend it’s what God wants and that I’m looking to be spared his wrath and worry some how qualifies me for that.
Are those payoffs? Yeah, they kinda are. Psychological and dysfunctional but a payoff none the less.
What self defeating things do you do that you secretly get a payoff from?
If you don’t improve in areas in your life is there an underlying payoff to it?
I bet there is.