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I’m big into meditation and self-hypnosis.
A few months back my wife got laid off from her teaching job and with 13,000 other teachers in New York it was a scary time.
One day I checked my blood pressure which is usually in the “pre-hypertension” stage and it had jumped up to the “defintely hypertension” stage. The next day and the day after it remained high. My dad had four heart attackes and heart disease is all through my family.
I decided to do everything I could to lower the BP naturally. Fish oil, cutting way back on caffeine, Sudafed, Benadryl and trying to lose a little weight.
I also got back into meditation and self hypnosis which i’ve done on and off my whole adult life.
Whenever i get really into it something curious happens. First, I really dig it and get really blissed out and naturally sedated. I use to go to sleep, as a mid day break and to prepare for everything I do psychologically.
If my pattern holds true pretty soon life is going to get too boring and I’m going to stop. It’s like I believe life is supposed to be a little more jacked up and not something to retreat from. I’ll skip a session or two and like the results. I may even have a bad sinus day and like the Sudafed?caffeine roller coaster. I’ll get a lot done or have a lot of cool ideas or something and I’ll chuck the meditation until something stresses me out.
The weird thing is things wouldn’t stress me out if i meditated consistently or at least not as much.
Something in that tells me I like the panic of stress. That pushing the accelerator of life is fun and that being chill all the day IS boring.
As for my blood pressure, well there’s always medication.
Could it just be a matter of too many things to do?
Quite possibly…
I find when I have very few things to do I get bored, procrastinate and half ass it. Example – on executive to assistant…i suck…but give me five and several high priority events and I am a goddess. Time to myself a clean house and kids at school…nothing gets done. But if I must compress the house cleaning, the errands, the kid stuff into the two hours before I know my husband will walk through the door and ask me what i did all day…then not only do i get it all done but I bake a pie, three dozen cookes and a roast. I dont know why but I am better when I am stressed and compressed. I excel when the rest of the world is losing it and needs me to bring it home. I am a rock star when the printers are breaking, the fedex cut off is looming and the CEO is breathing down my neck.
I dont know if it is because I am so non linear and scattered that if the muti-facited aspects of my brain dont all have something to focus on, i cant function. Maybe its because when everyone is counting on me…they need me…and so i save the day. Perhaps I create the problem so I might be the solution. Perhaps I just function better under pressure. Like a diamond, i turn from a lump of coal to a thing of beauty the greater the stress in my life. OR MAYBE….i should cut back on the coffee, take up yoga and find peace in the simiple things in life.
Gotta go – I hand another idea for another book…while I came out of sedation from having my gall bladder removed this weekend….so now i think thats four books…maybe five that i am trying to write. Some day might finished one. Probably will need to get an agent to give me a deadline before i actually finish one though…right now i have all the time in the world to finish them…
If your keeping count thats three sons, two cats, one husband, five executives and five book ideas…oh and about 7 knitting projects. I also have the componets for a chocolate cake, cookies, scones, and some ome made poptarts in my pantry that I plan on cooking this week….