Get this and it will change your life.
Excuse the infomercial opening, but it’s true.
Discomfort anxiety is the worry that something might be a pain in the ass. It might suck, it might be painful or at least tedious, and what ever it is you might not like it temporarily…or even longer than temporarily.
Think:
“I’d get up early in the morning to write…bu that would be hard.”
“I’d read more books to get better at my craft but it might be boring—it’s easier to watch TV.”
“I’d edit my book another time …but that will get boring.”
“I’d go to more cons and introduce myself to people…but that would be awkward and I wouldn’t like it.”
None of this discomfort would be excruciating…just a pain in the ass.
Here’s the painful moment of self discovery. I believe our actions more than our words reveal our values. If you don’t do things because they might be uncomfortable this is what you are actually clearly saying:
“I value comfort more than the
things that would improve my life!”
Ew…that would be tough to live with wouldn’t it?
Sometimes overcoming that discomfort is a little easier if you have something that reminds you why you wanted to do the action in the first place. For me it’s getting up early to walk before work. I have a picture posted to my mirror right above my alarm clock. When I get up and want to just turn the alarm off and go back to bed, I have the picture of what I don’t wish to look like anymore…that’s enough motivation for me to be uncomfortable.
Maybe for writers it could be a letter from a fan or a certificate earned or something else that reminds you that the end reward is worth the discomfort.
Just a thought.
Love it! it’s also frequently recommended as a great behavioral technique.
Maybe they need to revisit their goals? If the goal is to be a published writer then one has to get off ones butt and do the work.
Plenty of people look for excuses instead of getting on with it and then absolve themselves of their own dreams.
I always get up early. When I’m not writing I’m reading. I LOVE editing – a lot of people shake their heads in wonder when I say that – but I do, AND my editor rocks, so I want my work to be as good as I can get it before she sees it, lol!
You got me on the Con thing. I’m in New Zealand and we don’t have Cons. (and quite frankly that sucks) So I rely heavily on the internet to make connections -for now!
I suppose if it were easy to be a writer – everyone would be doing it. 🙂
Interesting…sometimes people say they want something but don’t do the necessary work.
I heard a story about a great pianist. A woman listened to him play approached him and said “I’d give ANYTHING to play like that.”
He looked at her and said.
“No, you wouldn’t”
I love that story. 🙂
I know someone who planned a story to death but never WROTE a word. It was a joint project -that she initiated and twisted my arm until I agreed. I had about 20k written and she’d done zip, but – had a beautiful folder full of ideas, and pictures. When I asked why she hadn’t written anything, she had a string of excuses. (If she’d used half the energy she put into the excuses for writing it would’ve been awesome. lol)
Turned out she liked the idea of writing and being a writer but was terrified of failure – and if you don’t try you can’t fail.
It’s glamorous to be a writer but work to write, i guess.
Uh huh, sitting at a computer in ya jammies drinking coffee and writing. Now that’s glamor! 🙂
I see too many people every day that are afraid of failure,so therefore do not even attempt to follow something they really want to do – or worse – follow soemeone elses dreams/wishes/wants to keep the other person happy.
I did it the incorrect way too when I was younger…..giving the finger to those who said I could not do it to show them I could do it….but – it was the things THEY said I could not do – which were things I did not want to do anyway.
My ultimate satisfaction – changing course for myself. Doing what I wanted for myself. Following my dreams rather than following someone elses for the sake of being a stubborn mare. I still am a stubborn mare – but for my own dreams now and my own happiness and no longer for the purposes of giving people who really do not matter the bird.
This included writing – a dream I began to realise to a fuller potential over the last year.
Following dreams is important. For me, the idea of sitting and not trying something because that would be easier, is not an option – which is probably something that I have to thank certain people in my past for – even though the last finger I gave them was saying goodbye! The sense of lightness and freedom of the heart and mind is so important. I am eve looking forward to my first batch of ‘rejection slips’ for the book – simply because it makes me want it more!
Stubborn as all hell yes but truly happy too!