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The diary of a 50 year old never-was gym rat who wants to keep sparring and is working with a couple of pro fighters as trainers and sparring partners. A look at the physical, psychological and emotional aspects of boxing.

My trainer was out of town and it was too late to find someone to spar with this weekend.

So what is there to write about?

Well, as you know most of this diary is about the psychological and emotional aspects of fighting. Not sparring has very definite consequences.

There are some weeks where I’m looking for my trainer to cancel. That way I don’t have to do the work (both psychological and physical) and I don’t have to feel guilty or cowardly for calling it off. This week I wanted to fight and I felt pretty good.

The consequences of not fighting are very clear. i feel a bit more listless and I feel like I lose my edge and not just boxing wise. I feel like I didn’t do something exceptional, I didn’t test myself and I didn’t feel like I faced any adversity.

I did one of my p90x workouts as a substitute. It was physically challenging but not emotionally or psychologically. I felt like I worked out and I felt the right amount of fatigue and soreness.

I don’t feel any of the exhilaration. I don’t feel like I did something out of the ordinary.

Monday I felt a little irritable and I little more anxious about things. I also didn’t feel as sore or fatigued and in a weird way I missed that. The body soreness reminds me of what I did. it reminds me that I fought and I like that feeling.

I didn’t get it this week.

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