For some songs sucking isn’t enough.
Not only are they bad, they set off an OCD type reaction in your head getting in there and involuntarily repeating themselves forcing you to drink bourbon and sing “Don’t Be Cruel” as a palate cleanser.
Here’s some of the worst offenders.
We Didn’t Start the Fire, 1989, Billy Joel vs Spirit in the Sky, 1969, Norman Greenbaum
Some actually take these cuts seriously and will argue vehemently. Joel makes his second appearance here at BSD and deservedly so. A bunch of cheap rhymes about history is a bad idea for a rock ‘n roll song. Greenbaum’s simplistic statement on spirituality with its own nursery rhyme flow sucks bad too. Joel’s cut has me washing my hands repetitively a lot more and its speed and his tone is just more noxious.
Whip It, 1980, Devo vs. Hey Mickey,1982, Toni Basil
Please don’t tell me how important Devo was. Wearing sconces spray painted red and playing the same keyboard lick over and over does not a classic make. Twenty seconds in and I have to take a hot tub. Basil is more stupid than anything else but in a really annoying way. Mickey is a bigger assault on sanity.
Acky Breaky Heart, 1992, Billy Ray Cyrus vs. The Macarena, 1992, Los Del Rio
This one is tougher for me. Billy Ray’s got a little bit of an Elvis impersonator’s sound but that still doesn’t excuse saying the same thing over and over and over. Us English speaking folks don’t have a corner on shitty songs as Los Whatevers really annoyed the hell out of anyone who attended a wedding in the 90’s. I don’t know Spanish as well as English so it was hard to get this song stuck in my head. Cyrus loses.
Here are some other episodes of Bad Song Duels.