Some advice for tomorrow:
1. Stay away from appliances even if they’re pink, even if you wrote a love poem and successfully rhymed compactor or even if you tell her the avocado green matches her eyes.
2. Think long and hard before getting that Fredrick’s fish net get up, the latex Firewoman’s outfit or that fetsih-based lacy scuba suit.
3. Remember you lumbar problem before ordering that funky trapeze thing. Check the weight limitations on the straps if you do order.
4. Dinner is a safe bet. However, don’t think that barbecue ribs slathered all over your lips is sexy and constitutes foreplay.
5. Careful with the OnDemand movie choices. In general avoid titles that feature any of the following themes prominently: “Tijuana Donkey,” “Ten’s Not a Crowd!” or “Diaper Time.”